ABOUT
"Masturbatorial Beginnings"
Self-taught artist Seth Jennemann has worked for years perfecting his technique. Jennemann was born with a severe hearing loss, which allowed him to ignore the irrelevant noise of the mundane existence of others and focus on perfection that he insists is beyond human comprehension.
It wasn’t always international acclaim and pushing artistic boundaries for Jennemann. Born into the chaotic embrace of Tulsa and growing up in the last house before a highway underpass where the sweet lullabies of roaring traffic bounced off of a 12-foot highway wall that backed up to his childhood home. It was this environment that was the key to unlocking the symphony of rebellion that echoed in his soul. Fueled by bipolar disorder and a burning desire to expand on his chaotic youth, Seth embarked on a globetrotting journey.
His adventures took him to exotic locales, where he dabbled in the fine arts of promiscuity, revelry, and drug use. His hearing aids served as the perfect accessory for his hedonistic escapades – a subtle reminder that even in the wildest of times, one must never miss a beat.
It was all fun and games until he suffered a personal injury of the highest order, injury to the heart. His “best friend,” Trevor, sold him meth-laced cocaine (Trevor said it was pure). This betrayal led Seth to not dabble but to delve into a life of debauchery, recklessness, and addiction. Seth became a connoisseur of regrettable decisions, collecting scars on his soul as he wandered through the transient landscapes of his misguided adventures. One of these adventures led to a brief prison stint in French Polynesia.
Upon his release, Seth made it his mission to get his $180 back from Trevor for the tainted 8-ball he had sold him all those years ago, but he knew Trevor would never voluntarily give him his $180 back. He would have to get creative.
"Masturbatorial Regrets"
Armed with desperation and a flair for the dramatic, Seth found himself in the vibrant city of Jacksonville, Florida where Trevor had a Sea-Doo chop shop that funded his life of decadence as a Sbarro owner.
Seth, clad in his best slip-and-fall ensemble, approached Trevor's Sbarro with the grace of a swan. He channeled his inner Daniel Day-Lewis and executed the slip-and-fall performance of a lifetime. It was a masterclass in the art of deception. Seth's commitment was so profound that he ended up with a spinal fracture, the pièce de résistance of his desperate pursuit.
However, reality hit harder than Seth hitting the greasy tile. The hospital became Seth's temporary abode, where he desperately reached out to personal injury attorneys. To his dismay, they revealed a truth more bitter than a Sbarro pizza: no insurance provider in their right mind would insure a Sbarro, and every Sbarro owner was wading in a sea of debt deeper than Jacksonville's waters.
The harsh reality dawned on Seth. His dream of a lavish $180 reimbursement shattered, much like his spinal integrity. In the end, with no legal recourse and a pocketful of regret, Seth had to embark on the arduous journey of looking inward. Or at least that's what Seth told himself as he pondered the cost of revenge in Jacksonville, the city where financial dreams go to get a little wet.
And so, in the wake of his spinal drama, Seth found himself at a crossroads. With a spine as fractured as his trust in "friends," Seth decided it was time for a deep dive into the tumultuous waters of self-reflection. Enter the grand stage of self-discovery, where Seth, armed with a sketchpad and a penchant for melodrama, embarked on a journey to peel back the layers of his chaotic existence. His ego became the guiding star in this voyage of introspection.
"Masturbatorial Revelations"
Seth decided to take a detour to the golden shores of California; nothing says "spiritual awakening" like the sun-soaked beaches and serene rehab centers of Malibu and what better place to do it than a rehab facility where the price of admission was more than the small Tulsa house he was raised in.
Seth enrolled in rehab to cleanse his soul from the stains of betrayal, addiction, and the bitter taste of meth-laced friendships. It was in the rehab haven of Malibu that Seth traded in his hedonistic pursuits for group therapy sessions, where he poured out his woes like a somber poet.
From the ashes of rehab rose a reformed Seth. He could now claim a Malibu rehab stint as a badge of enlightenment. With a newfound sense of clarity and a tan, Seth made the decision to return to the comforting embrace of Tulsa, the city that knew him before he was internationally acclaimed, or at least that's what he told himself.
Back in Tulsa, Seth set up his art studio, surrounded by the familiar sights that had once fueled his youthful rebellion. His self-taught artistic prowess, now refined by “worldly” experiences and a spinal fracture.
The epic tale of Seth Jennemann comes full circle, from the chaotic underpasses of Tulsa to the sun-soaked beaches of California and back again. In Seth’s life, every misadventure and regrettable decision is but a deliberate brushstroke on the canvas of his legacy. What you’re witnessing now is the pause before the plot thickens.
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